Super Hero Fail
by NeedWings2Fly
Summary: Lester has an idea and drags Bobby along. Not Morelli friendly, Babe if you squint. Just a one shot.


I own nothing. Warning: Language, not Morelli friendly

**Super Hero Fail**

Chapter 1

Lester and Bobby were sitting in Bobby's apartment having several beers on a Friday night when Lester decided to share a brilliant idea.

Lester smiled broadly, "Bob, I have a fucking awesome idea. The best idea ever."

Bobby sighed, "Is it better than your last 'best idea ever'?"

"That was an awesome idea."

"Lester, we're security experts, military men, we don't know anything about hamster ranching. Watching Rex doesn't qualify us."

Lester laughed, "We just weren't prepared enough but anyways this is a shit load better."

"Fine what?"

"We become super heroes. I have a cape and mask for each of us and I figure we can wear our normal clothes."

Lester handed Bobby a dark blue mask and cape while donning a dark green set, "Put it on and let's go save the city."

Bobby grabbed Lester's arm and stopped him, "Dude, first we need super hero names and second we have too much alcohol in our systems to drive."

Les grinned, "Junior can drive. I have a third cape / mask set. It's dark gray. I'm Super Sexy."

"Ok, let's get Junior. I'm Super Awesome."

With that they ran out of the apartment to Junior's door and barged in on him.

Junior jumped up, "What the fuck guys?"

Lester grinned and threw him the cape and mask, "Put this on. I'm Super Sexy, he's Super Awesome, and you're pick a name. We're super heroes and you're driving."

Junior shook his head but put it on and grabbed his keys, "I'm Super Pickle Pants. Let's roll."

Our three heroes quickly made their way to the garage and sped out. They decided to head to Stark St. to find someone in need of aid unaware that Ranger and Tank were down there with a team for a bust.

Chapter 2

Ranger looked through his binoculars from his truck with Tank beside him, "What the fuck? That's one of my trucks."

Tank looked at Ranger and raised an eyebrow.

Ranger sighed, "Use your glasses and look at that black SUV."

The two of them watched as the Rangeman super heroes leapt dramatically from their SUV and struck super hero poses.

Tank rubbed his eyes and looked again, "Boss, am I seeing this right? Is that Lester, Bobby, and Junior in eye masks and capes?"

Ranger sighed, "I can't believe this but yes it is. What the fuck is going on?"

Ranger called Lester, "Lester, explain why I'm seeing you, Bobby, and Junior dressed in capes."

Lester giggled, "We're super heroes. We're going to save someone" and hung up the phone.

Ranger glared at his phone, "The son of a bitch hung up on me. They think they're super heroes. Fucking idiots."

Tank just sighed, "Do we stop them?"

Ranger shook his head, "Fuck 'em. Let them get in trouble. I'll call and warn the lawyer that bail may be needed."

Chapter 3

Lester led his merry band of heroes through alleys and down streets trying to find someone to save without any luck. Eventually they heard an odd scream and ran at a man and woman. Bobby ripped the man from the woman and punched him in the face and broke his right arm while Lester grabbed the woman and ran with her. Junior just stood there stupefied as he realized that it was a couple having sex and the woman screamed in pleasure. At the sound of sirens, Junior ran back to the truck and bailed out of there. Lester and Bobby were arrested shortly after by Big Dog and Carl. Lester had made it four blocks carrying the naked woman, Joyce Barnhart, over his head and Bobby had beaten the man, Joe Morelli Trenton cop, senseless.

At the station, after pictures complete with poses and finger prints, Lester received his one call, "Ranger, can you come get me and Bobby? Big Dog and Carl arrested us."

Ranger laughed and hung up the phone.

The Next Day

Ranger was sitting at his dining table with Stephanie eating breakfast while reading the newspaper. He looked at the front page of the paper and saw a picture of Lester and Bobby standing with legs spread and hands on hips wearing the capes and masks. The headline read: 'FAIL: DRUNKEN SUPERHEROES CAPTURED!' Ranger laughed and read the article and laughed so hard he cried as he saw their names: Lester 'Super Sexy' Santos and Robert 'Super Awesome' Brown aka Bobby. The article also stated that their side kick, Junior 'Super Pickle Pants' Johnson, was not arrested.

End


End file.
